Many people have so many different problems in their marriages it can sometimes be quite hard to keep track of.  However, if you can isolate what may be causing the problems in the first place your chances of resolving the issue will greatly increase.  This particular article is designed to help those of you who may have had a troubled past, whether it be from your childhood, teen years or even early adulthood, this article could be of great use.

So although you may have been searching all of the internet for solutions to your marriage problems, and you have tried to do what they say, if things still just aren’t working out, it may be because either you or your spouse have past problems that are resurfacing in your marriage.  So how can you deal with these?

First of all you should identify who has the troubled past.  This can often be determined by reflection and both of you talking out your childhoods and past lives.  Whether it’s your spouse, you, or both of you who might have a troubled past there are a lot of things you can do to deal with this problem.  Another way to identify this problem is if one of you starts acting completely differently when problems arise this is a big sign of a troubled past and could signify you came from a “chaos childhood”.  If you came from a chaos childhood, when things start going bad, instead of working hard to fix these things you go into chaos mode, and do what they think is normal to do in hard times, whether it be drinking, smoking, or just leaving the house for a period of time.  So to deal with this “chaos” problem you must become an environment changer, by making your chaotic environment into a calm one.  You can do this in less than sixty seconds, by taking deep breaths and focusing your thoughts inward, to a calm happy place.

So overall if you or your spouse came from a troubled past, and you tend to break down when things start to go wrong.  Instead of seeing the environment in chaos you should calm yourself down and bring yourself to a serene place.  From there you should think of ways to improve your situation, and work towards those.


Filed under: Marriage Advice

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