Diving right into the most important lesson for strong relationships is a daunting task, but this will vastly improve every other portion of your relationship.  This most important lesson is how to deal with your time, and more importantly your time alone together.  The average couple can spend as low as one hour total alone together per week, the average couple with kids spend sometimes no time alone together.  The average two people having an affair spend a whopping total of fifteen hours per week together.

This sounds crazy how could two people having an affair together find fifteen hours to spend together in spite of all of their other commitments?  A good amount of alone time for normal couples to spend per week is an easy eight hours.  If you remember back to when you and your partner first started dating you will remember spending hours talking about what you wanted in the future, your biggest fears, and different things you liked to do, what most couples don’t realize is that these trivial but interesting things keep changing throughout life, and if you and your partner aren’t frequently checking in and spending time alone talking about these things, then you are by definition growing apart.  What growing apart means to me, is simply not spending enough alone time together.

If you don’t continue to connect your whole life, you run the risk of being married to a stranger.  How can you work on communication, affection or money issues, if you never have the opportunity.  If you think about it, it is virtually impossible to be in love with someone who you are never alone with.  Sure you can love them but be in love? that is another story.  No matter what the problem is whether you aren’t paying enough attention to each other, not having enough sex, or just don’t feel connected anymore, all of this could likely be solved by spending more one on one time with each other.  The order you should prioritize your life should be first marriage, then kids, job, family and friends, and finally everything else.  Most people at first glance think this list is out of whack, but if the marriage falls apart everything else will fall apart too, your kids will not thank you if you put them first, but then get a divorce.

So the most important lesson to build you relationship, and keep it strong for life is to simply schedule in your calendar at least eight hours a week of alone time between you and your partner.  In no time you will feel a deeper connection with them, and it should infinitely strengthen your relationship.

Filed under: Relationship Advice

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