Save a marriage“Until death do us part” is harder and harder to achieve in today’s world. In a culture that is now fully accepting of divorce, there is a greater freedom to choose to end a marriage. In many ways, that’s a good thing, but there is also a risk to divorce being taken so lightly. Because divorce is so easy to achieve, couples with a marriage that could have been saved sometimes separate, causing needless heartache and expense. Before seriously considering divorce, spend some time thinking about whether or not you should save a marriage.

The first thing to consider is why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. How was your relationship when you were first married, and how is it different now? Before getting started on the lists of all the ways your spouse has disappointed you since then and all the things that have changed, ask yourself, have I expressed these concerns to my husband/wife? Even if you have only been married a short while, there are certain to be many things that your husband/wife has done that have hurt you or have gotten under your skin, and most likely they are not aware of even half of them. In the meantime, you are storing up all the memories of those occurrences and building up a well of bitterness where your love used to be.

You might be hesitant to talk to your spouse about these concerns because you are afraid that he/she will not listen. Before getting frustrated at your spouse for not listening, ask yourself if you really listen to them. If they confront you about something that is bothering them, do you seriously consider what they are saying or has an angry inner monologue taken over before they have even begun. You cannot expect your spouse to listen when you do not listen to their response in return. Also, you cannot discuss the concerns you have about your marriage unless you spend time together. Make sure you have time every day, even for a few minutes, where your attention is entirely focused on your spouse. Before you think about divorce, make sure you have put the effort in to make your relationship work. No marriage is perfect. Don’t give up before putting in a serious effort to mend it.

Filed under: Marriage Advice

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