Everyone fights in relationships, it has been that way for centuries, hopefully you don’t fight too often, but because everyone does fight it is important to know how to fight, but still remain civil at the same time.  Arguments are going to happen from time to time, but if you have some ground rules about how to not hurt one another in these fights things will go a lot smoother, and it is just a plain better way to solve it.

First off never call you partner names or demean them in any way.  This is just uncalled for and can often create bigger more hurtful fights out of things that really shouldn’t cause that big of problems.  Calling you partner names is just mean, and the bad things you say about them you can never take back.  When fighting stick to talking about what is actually hurting you, or what you think the problem you are fighting about is.  Also try to stick to I statements.    Also don’t blame the other person for anything, it isn’t about making them appear to be wrong it is just about getting both of your needs met in the most equal way possible.

Learn how to express your feelings in a positive way while still getting your point across.  If you two never argue then your relationship is likely headed for disaster as you are holding so many of your emotions inside they are bound to come spilling out, and nothing bad is ever fixed if you two aren’t arguing.  Think of arguing as a means to progress your relationship and make it better.

So though it isn’t really pleasant to fight with your partner it does happen and fighting the right way can actually be really productive and helpful to your relationship.


Filed under: Control In a Relationship

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