You had her but you lost her. If you want to get back a girlfriend, there are a few things you can do. But in case she does not want to, you must accept it and move on. You should definitely find out if she is single and potentially still interested before you try to get her back.

You should suggest that the two of you meet, perhaps over a cup of coffee. Chose a public place so that she will not feel pressured into an intimate conversation. Show interest in what she has done since the breakup, appreciate her successes and feel sorry for her failures. Meeting face to face and talking as friends should help you decide if you really want her back and if things could work again. Meet with her more than once and try to build a friendship, perhaps based on new things than on what your relationship was based on. You have to let her know that you are single and do not feel happy this way. Tell her that you miss being with her and would like another chance. You can work this slowly into your conversations, or tell her all at once. Do it in a way that is comfortable for the both of you.

If she seems interested, you should have a long talk about what went wrong with the relationship the first time. This is not an argument or an opportunity to vent: you should talk in a mature way about the good things and the bad things, and how to prevent the relationship from failing again. You might have some efforts to do, or she might have to change a few things. The important thing is that if the two of you really want to be together, you should be able to forgive and forget what happened before and start over again – but you should also be on the lookout. Always remember what kind of behaviors ruined the first relationship: if you notice that these behaviors are coming back, mention it to your girlfriend right away. Maybe the two of you are not made for each other, or need to try harder.

Filed under: How to Get Her Back

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