As you probably noticed there is no shortage of relationship advice for women on how to get a boyfriend, or how to deal with a bad break up.  It seems as though very few people are actually addressing how women can avoid getting into a bad relationship to start off with though.

In simple terms you should just learn to know who you are looking for.  When it comes to women’s love lives they spend way too much time trying to look attractive to men in general, and not nearly enough time on deciding what type of man you are actually trying to attract.  Instead of fantasizing about some perfect man really focus on the specific attributes a good quality guy would have and how he would demonstrate them.  For instance if you like the rock solid type, don’t complain if he has a hard time sharing his feelings.  Also at the beginning of the relationship you should establish clearly defined boundaries, if he or you violates the boundaries then the relationship should be terminated.  These include violence, abuse, or cheating, or really anything either of you find intolerable.  You need to make these before you are romantically or physically involved because once you are it will be much easier to start making excuses to keep them in your life.  A good way to keep yourself honest and not make excuses is share your boundaries or deal breakers with a friend, that way if you start complaining to them they can give you the push you need to get your life going the way you want it too once again.

If you seem to have the same guy problems time and time again your guy radar is most likely broken.  You need to start choosing guys who exhibit good behavior and qualities that won’t lead to cheating or alcoholism down the road.  If your gut feeling about a guy isn’t a good one you should definitely listen to it.  Trust your instincts.  If you are instantly really attracted to a man you should take a step back and try to notice any warning signs.  If there aren’t any you should take some time to get to know him before starting anything serious.  The guy being so attractive to you should make you more cautious because you are more likely to look over his faults.

Trust your gut, set boundaries, and look for really quality guys.  This will help you immensely when trying to get into good relationships, and stop having the same old problems.


Filed under: Relationship Advice

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