Breaking up with someone is something sadly most of us have to do at some point or another, and it is important to follow a few basic rules when doing this so neither party gets unnecessarily hurt.

The first rule is to perform the break up quickly, know what you are going to say and stick to it.  An example of one of these scripts is “This isn’t working for me, so there is no way either of us can be happy.” You want to be simple in what you say, but also get your point across.  It is important to not say things you don’t mean, or offer to be friends if you really don’t want to.    A good rule to use to tell how long you should talk to your ex when you are breaking up with them is five minutes for every month you were in a relationship with them.  If you were in a relationship with the person for a month or less spend five minutes breaking up with them, three months fifteen minutes.  This is usually a good minimum amount of time to spend making sure you talk over everything and make sure they know where you are coming from.

The next rule is never break up by using technology, you should always break up face to face.  Also it is very important to remember to be proactive with you relationship, if you want to be done with it don’t just ignore you current boyfriend or girlfriend until they break up with you, be blunt and forward, and take initiative, don’t prolong something that clearly isn’t working.  Another rule is to pick where you want to break up with the person carefully, you do not want to break up with them in your own home.  It is usually best to either do it at their house if you think they deserve it, or out in public, somewhere where they won’t make a scene.  The final step is don’t feel too bad it is over, your breaking up with this person for a reason, and the future is a bright place.

So if your breaking up with your current boyfriend or girlfriend, remember these rules and it should go a lot smoother.  Remember the five minute per month rule, and remember to be truthful about your emotions and what you want out of the break up.

Filed under: Relationship Advice

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