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Financial Infidelity Between Couples as Damaging as Sexual Infidelity

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TODAY.com, the online home of America's No. 1 morning program, and SELF, the leading women's well-being magazine, unveiled results of their joint "Financial Infidelity" survey which found that nearly half the respondents acknowledged keeping money secrets from their partner.

The online "financial infidelity" survey found that 46 percent of people have lied to their partner about money, confessing to a wide range of money secrets, including lying about purchases, hiding them in the back of the closet and clandestinely withdrawing money from joint accounts.

The extensive poll of 23,000 online users also found that more than 60 percent of both men and women think cheating is cheating, whether it's financial or sexual. Two-thirds told us that honesty about money is as important as remaining monogamous. About one-third said financial infidelity can sometimes lead to sexual infidelity.

The survey also found that women are more likely than men to keep money secrets. The most common financial fibs involved shopping, such as pretending something was on sale. A minority – under 10 percent – confessed to more serious spending secrets, including secret bank accounts or hidden credit cards. About 13 percent of respondents said they'd broken up or gotten divorced over secretive spending habits.

"Our survey makes it clear that money can be a huge stumbling block for relationships if couples don't take the time to talk about it frankly," said Martin Wolk, TODAY.com executive business editor. "It's one thing to fib about a new pair of shoes, but keeping serious money secrets from one another - about problems with debt or spending - can be a recipe for disaster."

"Discussing money can be very awkward, but it is important to have this conversation with your partner early on," states SELF Editor-in-Chief, Lucy Danziger. "To have a successful relationship, you need to have trust and hiding money secrets is a huge way to break that confidence. Open up about past debts, then lay some ground rules for the future and have a mutual agreement on your expenses.  This openness will save you from many fights in the end and lead to a much healthier relationship."

MONEY SECRETS - More than 34 percent of men and women who have kept money secrets say it's because they disagree with their partner about where to spend the money.

HIDE & SEEK - 32 percent of women said they have hidden purchases from their partner, compared with only 17 percent of men.

THIS OLD THING? More than 25 percent of women said they would pretend something was old when it was actually a new purchase, compared with about 8 percent of men.

STAYING TRUE - The poll found that about 70 percent of women and 63 percent of men thought that honesty about money was as important as remaining monogamous.

For the full survey results and more information, go to SELF and TODAY.com.

Now it's your turn: Are you hiding spending or income from your spouse?  How so, and why?

Mindy Crary (MBA, CFP® practitioner and financial coach at Creative Money) helps you become a lot more educated (never inundated) about not just your money — but the whackjob behind it. Check out Creative Money and sign up for free classes and more valuable money tips.